worth dwelling on
i guess a good prelude to this entry is a confession that i frequently look up adjectives on google to get their definition so i can use words that accurately express the point i want to make across…despite the fact that myself and basically everyone i know would fare much better reading things in a 100% natural, answer.com-free description.
it’s funny when you look back on a so-called “unrequited love” and so many silly thoughts that build up and come to be over such a long period of time. i suppose tonight was an almost-significant end. however, it’s hard to define something a “significant end” when you have had near-ends to a relationship (and by relationship, i more or less mean friendship) on a far-too-regular basis in the past.
while it’s easy to look ahead, it truly is hard to deny the past. and while i stick my nose up high in regards to any dumb almost pretty girl from my high school who can’t get over their got-way-fat-post-highschool ex-boyfriend, i do acknowledge the power people from our past can still hold in our present. but maybe we just need to disregard their presence. because a majority of the time, we really are just trying to fool no one but ourselves. i’ve moved on and i’m almost 95% ready for previously mentioned person to move right on out of my life….however, that 5% not quite ready may or may not always be holding out for an unrealistic occurrence. which is not something i ever want myself holding out for. (unless he is aaron samuels in mean girls. in which case, i might make an exception)
