hm.
i haven’t quite decided which direction i want to take this blog.
on one hand, i’d love to have a tumblr as a semi-secret outlet for insecure, pointless rambles about whatever is currently conflicting me or on my mind. i also like the idea of not letting those little worries come to life outside of my head and just having inspiring pictures, quotes, songs, etc that make me happy or sad or any kind of emotion.
however, is that really an accurate depiction of my current state or just a representation of what i want others (my nonexistent readers) to think that i consider worthwhile? is not posting my thoughts an attempt to hide that i consider myself void of the intellectual capacity to post truly profound thoughts? why am i so concerned with that anyways?
one of my best friends from study abroad had an excellent vocabulary and always spoke very eloquently. i still remain jealous of her for that because i’m the type who overuses the word “like” and is frequently incapable of speaking slowly and clearly when i gets excited about something. sometimes i feel like the thoughts in my head are just dying to burst out and to be heard as soon as possible post-thinking them but then that leads to a lack of coherence and it really is annoying.
i also lack a filter and i almost hate to have this outlet available because embarrassing, possibly regrettable thoughts will likely be posted.
but i suppose…c’est la vie. live it with no regrets. “butnot” will be an outlet for my ever-developing mind and not so profound thoughts
