2:39am
i go off and on with recording my thoughts. the “ohmyblog!” thing only holds my attention for like 2 seconds so i hesitate to commit to it again. however, this time i’m thinking i’m into the mysterious persona kind of thang. maybe this will be my only post or maybe there will be many more. who really knows?
i’m at a strange place in my life right now i suppose. it’s summer and for whatever reason this season always gives me an almost discontent feeling of total restlessness.
now that i’m back from my semester abroad wah wah wah, life is just sooo hard. it’s a beyond cliche thing to think and especially to say and i’m a bit embarrassed by it. whenever others pull the same card i always respond with an eye roll and a “but everything is so great here, why?!” and while i genuinely do believe that everything is great here and that there’s really nowhere else that i’d want to spend this summer, i can’t help but feeling listless and longing for a more substantial purpose or something. working at semi-dead end jobs and going out 4-5 nights a week gets repetitive fast.
i guess i need to specify. although i’m at an almost uncomfortable point in my life, i am very aware that this is merely a transition into being back at school in the fall and then shit is going to fast-forward straight into graduating college and adulthood and woaaaah dogggie… i’m also way too aware that soon enough i’ll be looking back at all the wonderful moments and memories i’ll undoubtedly and perhaps unknowingly acquire over this blur of a summer in america with a silly smile, longing to be on my squeaky mattress whining about my life and it’s current ‘lack of meaning.’
